ben

ill effects

Posted on 2008-Jan-16 at 11:05
*tap tap tapparoo*

Did you hear that?

It was me, I am knocking on Death's door.

I kinda hope he's not home.

I don't get sick very often and usually when I do get attacked by a bug I can kick its hairy parasitic ass before it has a chance to worm its way into me. Not this time.

I felt great on Sunday.

I woke up monday morning in a panic when i realized someone had super glued my nose shut at some point in the night. I blamed my husband...because that is what I do.

I took Monday off hoping to make a speedy recovery but after a breathe-less day and a sleepless night I wasn't feeling any better on Tuesday. I had to work so I loaded up on cold meds and put on my healthiest smile and did my thang...trying my best not to infect anyone. Most of my clients either already have the bug or are just getting over it. It was probably one of those bastards who gave it to me! I can't blame my husband for that, he hasn't been sick. I am quite certain though that since we are going to the city this weekend he will come down with it by then...in my mind it will be just to spite me. I do not expect him to baby me when I am ill and I have zero patience for him when he is under the weather. "Just get over it already, take some Cold FX and some vitamin C, blow your nose, you don't even try to fight it,you are such a baby."

I try to keep my misery to myself (and you) but he moans and groans and whines and it annoys the piss out of me. In sickness and in health my ass. Apparently I am a little cranky. The poor guy isn't even sick (yet) and I am already mad at him. How does he put up with me? I think it helps that he's working afternoon shift.

I am on my way to bed, it's time to get sexy. I'll slip into my favorite comfy sweatshirt, pop enough antihisthamines and tylenol to relieve the 40,000 leagues under the sea pressure in my head and the miserable aching in my everything else. Then I'll flush my nasal cavity with saline to try to drain some of the snot...so there isn't so much left on my pillow in the morning. *gag* After that I will slather my chest and back with Vicks vapo-rub and finally to make me completely irresistible I will put a Breathe-Right strip across the bridge of my nose. Oh the hawtness...of my fever. My husband won't be able to keep his hands off me when he gets home. How could he possibly resist the overwhelming seduction power of mentholatum, Buckley's breath and soggy tissues.

Now I lay me down to sleep
my bed's become a kleenex heap
If I can rest before I rise
I won't have such bloodshot eyes


Sadly, my cold/flu/ebola has not improved my mad poetry skillz.

Awww - Poor Ben!

Posted on 2008-Jan-16 at 11:51 by LadyVisine
*slides a heaping pot of steaming, homemade chicken noodle soup, a pot of echinacea tea and pix of a naked moomin through the door*

There, hon - hope that helps ya feel better lots & soon. I'll leave the hugs at the door, for you to pick up when you're up to potty next time.

*sanitizes hands again*

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 12:19 by tony
hope that you get better soon

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 01:01 by pd
"I woke up monday morning in a panic when i realized someone had super glued my nose shut at some point in the night"

*giggle*

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 04:22 by Minda
I don't know...I kinda like the poem :D

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 06:28 by sladewilson
Check out MC Ben.... You gonna battle fiddy next?

I hope you feel better soon, hon. At least your sense of humor is still intact....

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 08:09 by kinnigurl
Get well soon Ben! The poem is kinda catchy!

.

Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 09:03 by Chica
Aww poor Ben, hope ya feel better soon, colds are awful.

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 09:43 by spaceystacey
get well soon!

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Posted on 2008-Jan-17 at 05:52 by slayerbarbie
Hope you're feeling better soon.
*Sends some Jack Daniels your way*

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Posted on 2008-Jan-18 at 04:13 by audsmom
I hope you get to feeling better soon Ben. Everyone at my work has been sick lately. I've been spraying Lysol and using my Clorox wipes!

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Posted on 2008-Jan-18 at 10:39 by treasa
I felt that way last week, but I swear, I didn't give it to you!

~~~healing vibes~~~

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Posted on 2008-Jan-18 at 10:54 by DeeJay
Dammit, Ben, you are not allowed to get sick and leave us like this. I worry!

I hope you're feelin' better soon. Methinks I am going to steal your g'night prayer thingy for the next bout of plague that attacks my bod! Well done!

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Posted on 2008-Jan-18 at 12:02 by bitzky
Lady V, a naked moomin pic will only aggravate the sickness, I¨m afraid! :D

You poor thing

Posted on 2008-Jan-18 at 06:04 by Patty
Hope you are starting to feel better. If not get to Urgent Care so you don't have to lay around all week-end in pain and misery.

What Marilu Says

Posted on 2008-Jan-19 at 12:22 by Roxanne
Marilu Henner was on Ellen this week and says if you have a cold, you should soak your feet in the hottest water possible and then put socks on and a hat. She also said to drink lots of fluids. I mean, I'm not saying she's an expert but anyone who manages to still ride the coattails of fame from a job they had twenty years ago might know a thing or two about survival...

Feel better Ben!

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Posted on 2008-Jan-21 at 05:20 by thyme
Hey are you feeling better? I wish my poetry was half as avian as yours, even under the influenza!
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