gok this way
Posted on 2008-Feb-6 at 12:04
I’ve always had body issues and with good reason, I am not, nor have I ever been a skinny girl. I won’t make excuses, I am sure that if I ate ‘right’ and exercised more it would help. The problem is that I have spent my entire life on some sort of diet or another and I have gotten to the point where I don’t know what to eat anymore. Low calorie, low carb, low fat, sugar-free, high protein, food combining, supplements, shakes, cabbage soups, Zones, South Beaches, Weight Watchers, Atkins, it gets to the point where food is simply a nightmare and every bite induces guilt and self loathing from every direction.
Then there is the brilliant diet wisdom that spews from people who have never had a weight problem…”Just put the fork down.” “Step away from the buffet.” Like they know best. It’s not always a question of volume. I have put my body into starvation mode more than a few times, falling into the ‘eat less lose weight’ mentality. Unfortunately however when your form is not fed properly it panics sensing famine and stores every morsel just in case it’s not going to get any more. Most of us simply eat the wrong things, it’s figuring out what the right things are that gets complicated. There is no one simple fix for everyone and despite what some people say one look at my family proves there is something to genetic weight issues. I also happen to believe that for some of us the weight is masking something (besides a smaller ass) deeper as well. Stuffing emotions with food is a form of medicating just like drugs or alcohol, for some it is an addiction and as real a disease as any other. Still there are shallow fucks who think themselves above reproach who think that fat people are lesser human beings and it is ok to treat them (us) as such. It is not.
Fortunately I have never (knowingly at least) been directly targeted by such ignorance but the sad truth is that such shaming is not necessary. I am far more malicious regarding my own body than even the nastiest fattist could be. My husband loves my body, all of it. For a long time I didn’t believe him, I thought it was just something he said to be nice. We’ve been together long enough now however that he’s proven he likes everything just the way it is… and he’s totally an enabler (buying ice cream and such) so if he does have a problem with it he can take some of the responsibility. Still for as long as I can remember I have been consumed with bodily self-loathing. It’s a pretty lousy way to live when you like the person you are but you don’t feel that what is on the outside is any reflection of the person who lives within. Women (especially) seem to get it in their heads that if they have the perfect body that everything else will fall into place, they’ll get the perfect guy, find the perfect job and live the perfect life. It furthers the sad state of affairs when we find that the scale is not a magic lamp and that reaching that goal does not necessarily fulfill all of our wishes.
Finally someone gets it.
His name is Gok Wan and he is the host of a British TV show called “How to Look Good Naked” (I have heard there is an American version of the show starring Carson Kressley of Queer Eye fame but I haven’t seen it yet and I would frankly be surprised if he could fill Gok’s designer shoes) and he is the new love of my life. He takes real women who hide behind baggy clothing and undress in the dark and slaps them in the face with a shot of reality (and their underwear clad image posted on the side of a building for the world to see) and shows them that what they see as flaws are not necessarily what other people even notice or often actually appreciate, he boosts confidence and increases self esteem in women who prefer hide their bodies from the world. He does not subscribe to societal standards of beauty or perfection and he doesn’t preach diet, exercise or cosmetic surgery. He teaches women how to work with what they have and not just accept their shapes for what they are but to love them as they are… even uncovered. Accentuate the positive and learn to appreciate the negative. It is what it is, no point in hating it.
The show is full of tips for dressing different shapes (not better shapes, not worse shapes, just different) what works and why as well as emphasizing that the proper reinforcements are in place… most women wear the wrong undies and bras but we’re too humiliated by our bulges and intimidated by Victoria’s Secret models to get fitted properly. Gok is leading the crusade to end our bodily repugnance and I hope it catches on. We should not hate our bodies, one woman’s flaw is another woman’s endowment and who says we all should be a size two anyway… or is zero the new two? I have never wanted to be a tiny model or a ballerina I like my boobs and I am quite happy that I will never be mistaken for being a boy. My husband can’t keep his hands off my fat ass, that should be enough in itself to make me appreciate my ample bottom and I am working on being happy to be loved by someone who appreciates my brain, my humour and my booty as it is. It may not be the ‘perfect package’ but it is mine nonetheless.
If a smaller pair of jeans is in my future then so be it but if it’s not I don’t want to slit my wrists over it either.
By the end of each episode Gok manages to replace the women's body issues with enough confidence to pose naked for a photo shoot and walk in her skivvies down a runway. While I have not quite gotten to the point where I love all of my wobbly bits or would be caught dead in the buff in front of an audience, Gok has helped me to see that there is more to life than trying to squeeze into someone else’s mold and despising myself when it doesn’t fit. The misery, frustration, anguish and despair that comes with the constant battle with food and fat is not worth the aggravation. There is no point to it, the skinniest person doesn’t win anything, we should just enjoy living instead. Life is not perfect, nobody said it had to be and dammit we don’t have to be either.
Then there is the brilliant diet wisdom that spews from people who have never had a weight problem…”Just put the fork down.” “Step away from the buffet.” Like they know best. It’s not always a question of volume. I have put my body into starvation mode more than a few times, falling into the ‘eat less lose weight’ mentality. Unfortunately however when your form is not fed properly it panics sensing famine and stores every morsel just in case it’s not going to get any more. Most of us simply eat the wrong things, it’s figuring out what the right things are that gets complicated. There is no one simple fix for everyone and despite what some people say one look at my family proves there is something to genetic weight issues. I also happen to believe that for some of us the weight is masking something (besides a smaller ass) deeper as well. Stuffing emotions with food is a form of medicating just like drugs or alcohol, for some it is an addiction and as real a disease as any other. Still there are shallow fucks who think themselves above reproach who think that fat people are lesser human beings and it is ok to treat them (us) as such. It is not.
Fortunately I have never (knowingly at least) been directly targeted by such ignorance but the sad truth is that such shaming is not necessary. I am far more malicious regarding my own body than even the nastiest fattist could be. My husband loves my body, all of it. For a long time I didn’t believe him, I thought it was just something he said to be nice. We’ve been together long enough now however that he’s proven he likes everything just the way it is… and he’s totally an enabler (buying ice cream and such) so if he does have a problem with it he can take some of the responsibility. Still for as long as I can remember I have been consumed with bodily self-loathing. It’s a pretty lousy way to live when you like the person you are but you don’t feel that what is on the outside is any reflection of the person who lives within. Women (especially) seem to get it in their heads that if they have the perfect body that everything else will fall into place, they’ll get the perfect guy, find the perfect job and live the perfect life. It furthers the sad state of affairs when we find that the scale is not a magic lamp and that reaching that goal does not necessarily fulfill all of our wishes.
Finally someone gets it.
His name is Gok Wan and he is the host of a British TV show called “How to Look Good Naked” (I have heard there is an American version of the show starring Carson Kressley of Queer Eye fame but I haven’t seen it yet and I would frankly be surprised if he could fill Gok’s designer shoes) and he is the new love of my life. He takes real women who hide behind baggy clothing and undress in the dark and slaps them in the face with a shot of reality (and their underwear clad image posted on the side of a building for the world to see) and shows them that what they see as flaws are not necessarily what other people even notice or often actually appreciate, he boosts confidence and increases self esteem in women who prefer hide their bodies from the world. He does not subscribe to societal standards of beauty or perfection and he doesn’t preach diet, exercise or cosmetic surgery. He teaches women how to work with what they have and not just accept their shapes for what they are but to love them as they are… even uncovered. Accentuate the positive and learn to appreciate the negative. It is what it is, no point in hating it.
The show is full of tips for dressing different shapes (not better shapes, not worse shapes, just different) what works and why as well as emphasizing that the proper reinforcements are in place… most women wear the wrong undies and bras but we’re too humiliated by our bulges and intimidated by Victoria’s Secret models to get fitted properly. Gok is leading the crusade to end our bodily repugnance and I hope it catches on. We should not hate our bodies, one woman’s flaw is another woman’s endowment and who says we all should be a size two anyway… or is zero the new two? I have never wanted to be a tiny model or a ballerina I like my boobs and I am quite happy that I will never be mistaken for being a boy. My husband can’t keep his hands off my fat ass, that should be enough in itself to make me appreciate my ample bottom and I am working on being happy to be loved by someone who appreciates my brain, my humour and my booty as it is. It may not be the ‘perfect package’ but it is mine nonetheless.
If a smaller pair of jeans is in my future then so be it but if it’s not I don’t want to slit my wrists over it either.
By the end of each episode Gok manages to replace the women's body issues with enough confidence to pose naked for a photo shoot and walk in her skivvies down a runway. While I have not quite gotten to the point where I love all of my wobbly bits or would be caught dead in the buff in front of an audience, Gok has helped me to see that there is more to life than trying to squeeze into someone else’s mold and despising myself when it doesn’t fit. The misery, frustration, anguish and despair that comes with the constant battle with food and fat is not worth the aggravation. There is no point to it, the skinniest person doesn’t win anything, we should just enjoy living instead. Life is not perfect, nobody said it had to be and dammit we don’t have to be either.
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